TV On The Radio’s “Dear Science,” Makes Me Pee My Pants.
My entire life I’ve been heavily into music. At the age of 4 I enrolled into the obligatory call-to-childhood by taking group organ lessons. These lessons displeased me, but it started me down the path of a life rich in musical tapestry. I took private piano lessons for 14 years following the group organ lessons. I took 10 years of private saxophone lessons. 2 years of private vocal lessons. I performed in several musicals, started my formal post-secondary education as a drama major, and have purchased my record collection twice thanks to a rather expensive break-in of my car when I was 20. I’ve often told people that, given the unfortunate choice, I’d rather be blind than deaf. I wouldn’t even hesitate. I can bear not golfing or driving again, never judging my own body again, and never having to see another Internet shock site again, but never hear music again? Never hear the rhythms of nature, the humming of a street light, or another TV On The Radio album again? I’d rather die.
I will admit, however, that I am no life time achievement award when it comes to music appreciation. At the two years leading up to the turn of the millenium, when boy bands were at their peak and rock music was debatably at its lowest point in probably 40 years (yes, even lower than the disco era), I gave up on music. I stopped listening. I stopped buying. I stopped reading and searching. I lost the will to seek. And then something interesting happened. An 18 year old kid from the US named Sean Parker, over the course of a few weeks, decided to make the international music industry as we know it completely, 100% obsolete. A kid, who didn’t know a thing about programming, taught himself C++ and wrote the infamous Napster – a product that allowed me to start finding music again.
However, while Napster was great, and while it introduced me to a lot of great bands, it wasn’t delivering anything completely earth shattering in the context of new bands. Napster allowed me to find the bands that I knew about, but it was no substitution for finding new bands I’d never, ever heard of before (well, this isn’t entirely true, I found a lot of new bands, but the crap-to-awesome ratio was way outta whack – the process was not very efficient). Only reading and fingering through various zines and papers could do that. But it was Napster that got me interested enough to dedicate time out of my week to finger the various zines and papers.
Young Liars EP
Come 2003. While fingering various zines and papers, I come across a review for an EP by a band called TV On The Radio. I sample them, and in 30 seconds flat I’m completely hooked. TOTR’s Young Liars EP is still, to this day, one of the best EP’s I’ve ever heard. For being only 5 songs it’s rich, deep, complex, compelling. It’s 22 minutes (!) of highly compelling and engaging music. It starts off with deep bass, harmonious vocals, and a shock of “Holy Crap! This is Awesome!”. It finishes with a 4 minute a cappella version of The Pixies’ Mr. Grieves. It was my favourite thing in my collection in 2003.
The interesting part of all this is that TV On The Radio didn’t have any albums out at the time. This EP was their first and only published work. When was their full length LP going to be released? Unfortunately for those that heard the EP (over, and over, and over, and over again), it would be at least a year until TOTR finally released their debut LP. For a year there was speculation, anxiety, hopefulness that they wouldn’t blunder and show the world that Young Liars was just a fluke.
Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes
The 2004 release of “Desperate Youth, Blood Thirsty Babes” was successful in proving that Young Liars was not a fluke, but 100% intentional. The album announces itself again with deep driving bass, distorted and muffled drum machines, and a “HERE WE ARE!” horn section. The lead off track also cements TOTR’s schtick of complex vocal arrangements. It quickly becomes clear to the listener that Young Liars was just a sample of what the band could do. Layers, layers, and more layers.
Not only does TOTR prove their creative and musical spirits on this album, they also show they’re masters of atmosphere. TOTR have no problem creating scenery in their songs. They’ll make you feel the song, not just hear it. From anxiety to rambunctiousness, loneliness to love, the album has a knack for making you feel a whole lot of your past.
Return to Cookie Mountain
In 2006, and in typical deep bass fashion, TOTR impaled the masses with their second LP, Return to Cookie Mountain. With enormous critical success the album built up from TOTR’s foundation of deep base and harmonious melodies by incorporating a lot more white noise and a lot more looping. But each song is almost in its own genre. Hours is like a bunch of Swirling Dirbies listening to neo-psych rock (at least that’s the image it conjures for me). Province is like the childhood song from your youth, with a blazing hot son setting over the lake while you, 3 years old, run around naked on the beach. Wolfs Like Me bring TOTR back to solid, driving fashion after the minature tour de senses. The album continues from there, exploring different sounds and rocking your ass.
Dear Science,
And like the precise clockwork you would expect from an expert watchsmith, in 2008 TOTR releases their third album, Dear Science, a surprisingly upbeat and, dare I say, happy album. Of course the album starts with a rich, deep bass, followed by some of the happiest (if not simple) scatting I’ve ever heard. We’re talking teenager scatting. The album explore’s hiphop (in the most frantic use of the word), soul, funk, and syphonic rock (without all the cliche symphony). This is, of course, all on top of the foundation built on the previous albums.
Remember the first time you got drunk, and you were like “Oh my Gosh, this is weird!”? And then remember the second time you got drunk you were too excited so you over did it and said “Oh my Gosh, this is terrible!”? And then the third time your were more refined and had a better idea on how to pace yourself? That’s TOTR’s third album. It’s definitely the most mature of their three and a half albums. The refined quality runs the risk of it having the least amount of replay value of their collection, but it’s still beautiful, atmospheric, and heavily textured. It’s still amazing. It’s still TV On The Radio, and it’s still going to make you sit up and take notice.
Lets Create an Interface!
I stopped watching CSI a long time ago. As soon as they started franchising that show into every possible different CSI parallel I quickly lost all interest. I always thought that CSI Miami, with Mr. Carusso leading the charge with his hands firmly on his hips displaying his incredibly calm, cool and collected physical prowess, was the worst of the bunch. However, the sunglass wielding hands on hips pre-commercial suspenseful climax was out done recently by Gary Sinise and his squad of super computer hackers, as seen below.
Wow.
“I’ll create a GUI interface using of dead tree bark and a pack of wrigley’s chewing gum, see if I can track an IP address!”
“I’ll create a GUI interface using the back of a ’57 chevy and a couple of dead lumberjacks, see if I can track an IP address!”
“I’ll create a GUI interface out of the remaining tape scraps of all those terrible Seinfeld meets Gates commercials and a couple of white tigers, see if I can track an IP address!”
This has to be one of the worst written product placements I’ve ever seen… It’s almost incoherent. It’s right up there with a Season 2(?) episode of Alias when, at the start of a high-paced car chase, our faithful heroine yells “Quick! Get in the Ford F150!”, followed by a extreme closeup of the Ford logo as they peel out of the parking garage.
What can you make a GUI interface out of?
Microsoft Windows Automatic Updates. A Case Study in Usabability Failure
I just booted my Windows XP virtual machine using VMWare’s Amazing Fusion. After a couple minutes of waiting I finally have a usable desktop. I’m instantly greeted with Windows Update.
“Why hello!” I greet the friendly notification bubble.
“Did you know that you have a huge… update?” it asks me, flirtatiously.
“I get that a lot… from you!” I reply with grand wit. “What is it this time?”
“Windows XP Service Pack 3… wouldn’t you just love to install it?”
Without hesitation I reply. “Yes.”
Slowly and graciously my virtual machine starts to do it’s thing. Caressing my hard drive, checking out my RAM… making sure that everything’s ready to go. And just then, my computer backs out! “Ah-ah-aaaaaaaaaaah!” she teases. “I’m sorry, but I can’t go any further until you plug me in to AC power.” Hastily I stumble for the AC power cable, clumsily plugging it in. “There!” I say victoriously. “Now… where were we?” I click [OK] and… she gets up and leaves. I’m sitting there, ready and able, and she’s…. nowhere to be found.
Imagine my confusion and my utter annoyance. All I want to do is explicitly invoke a Windows XP update – the same update I’ve been notified has been downloaded and is ready to install on my computer.
In Apple OS X this is easy.
[Apple Menu] –> Software Updates…
In Ubuntu it’s almost equally as easy.
[Open Terminal] –> sudo aptitude upgrade
But in Windows XP… you just… well, what do you do? There’s nothing in my start menu there’s no “Windows Update” (although there is an “Apple Software Update” – oh the irony). I look in my Administrative Tools… nothing. I look in my Control Panel. A-Ha! Automatic Updates! I double click it to find that it’s simply a settings panel that allows me to control how frequently I allow windows to check for Microsoft updates. I look and I look, but there is no single launch point for updating Microsoft Windows.
Finally, in defeat, I commence what is apparently the most natural to way to commence the process of updating your Windows operating system: I open a web browser. I then navigate to http://updates.microsoft.com – a url that apparently doesn’t exist. So I Google it and find the link. I navigate to the update link, only to be redirected to some other page telling me I need Internet Explorer. Exasperated, I open Internet Explorer and do the Google once again, and click on the link.
Microsoft starts scanning my computer for updates. 1 minute… 2 minutes… 5 minutes go by. I’m surprised, because Windows has already determined what updates need to be applied to my system. I know this because it told me when I first logged on. Finally, the Windows Update web application (am I the only one who things this is absurd?) finishes and I’m presented with a Download and Install Now button. WTF? I already have downloaded, I don’t want to download again just so I can install that which I’ve already downloaded. Finally, I completely give up and I simply reboot my virtual machine so I can get the Updates Ready to Install balloon. I wait a couple minutes and I’m back at my nice, new, freshly rebooted desktop. I wait. I wait some more. Still waiting… no update balloon. Awesome.
This is a perfect example of why I use a Mac now. Updating my system should be straight forward and easy, but Microsoft has found a way to make it a nearly impossible task in Windows XP. The funny thing is, for a dozen years this never bothered me, but I feel like the proverbial blind man who can now see, and I realise that not only does it not have to be this way, but that it shouldn’t be this way and, for the rest of the world, it isn’t this way.
I don’t recall what this process was like under Vista… please tell me that Microsoft has made some of these standard work flows more accessible and more usable in Vista.
KCRW Floats my Boat, Rocks my Socks, and Chugs my Mugs
Yes, I am aware that the last limerick makes no sense, but it was the best I could do given the context of this post. I’m an avid fan of music. I haven’t posted much about music on this blog because for the most part I’ve tried to keep it technical and nerd related (that will soon change – for I need to tell the world about the new TV On The Radio album). But I figured this could be considered nerdy enough.
I’m a bit of a fan boy when it comes to community radio. I find non-profit radio to be far more interesting than commercial radio. The eclectic mix of programming, politics, and culture is a much welcomed style of programming in today’s big-box pre-fabricated snorefest commercial radio. While living in Saskatoon I hosted an early morning (read, 6am – 8am) show on the incredibly excellent CFCR radio. When I moved to Regina I felt a hole in my community heart. But my good friend Dale Zak filled that hole with KCRW, the incredible community radio station out of LA that streams at a mighty fine 128kbps. I was hooked, and I never looked back.
One day I was out walking around Regina, streaming KCRW to my iPhone over the 3G network using (the greatest iPhone application in the world!) Tuner. I was listening right in the middle of a big campaign pledge. Being involved in community radio for a while I understood how important these campaigns were, so I dialed up KCRW and sent them a 75$ donation. In exchange they would send me a mug and a t-shrit.
Well, I’m proud and excited to say that today I received my mug. So excited, that I decided to reveal my true identity with a series of beautiful photos of me and my mug. Enjoy!
What the heck is going on with Rogers Wireless?!
It’s 5:25pm on Tuesday September 9th, 2008 – I’ve been on hold with Rogers Wireless Tech Support for 15 minutes now. I keep getting bounced around – at one point I hear music like I’m on hold, the next minute I hear ringing. Now, this isn’t out of the ordinary – what is out of the ordinary, however, is that every now and then when it rings a complete non-tech-support stranger is on the line and they’re asking ME for something. Here’s a couple of conversations I just had while “on hold” with Rogers Wireless.
*I can hear the phone ringing as if I’m finally getting through to a human being. The person picks up. All I hear is background noise and something about a “Gate Change”*
“Who is this?!” I ask
“Oh, sorry – I’m in the Toronto airport just making a call to Regina.”
*click*
They hang up. I’m left horribly confused but I remain on hold. It starts to ring again. A guy with a thick East Indian accent picks up.
“Hey man” he says.
“Uh… sorry, is this Rogers Wireless Tech Support?” I ask.
“Uh… wha? No – sorry, I guess I have the wrong number.”
*click*
He also hangs up. And I immediately start to hear ringing again.
This time a woman answers.
“Hello?” She answers as if I called somebody at home.
“Yea… uh…hi – is this Rogers Wireless Tech Support?” I ask. She laughs.
“No – but this number is on my phone 3 or 4 times in the past 10 minutes. Are you tryi–” she gets cut off and I’m bounced to another call.
This time a young dude answers.
“Hello?”
“Yea, hi – this is really bizzar, please don’t hang up” I plead. “Is this Rogers Wireless Tech Support?”
“Haha!” he laughs. “You’re the 3rd call I’ve received like this, and everytime I try to make a call it goes to somebody completely different that I don’t know!”
I explain to him that I’ve been on hold for 20 minutes now, and I keep getting other people in what I assume is the Greater Toronto Area, on their cells, as if I called them, and then I’m whisked away to somebody else. He laughs the entire time, incredulous as to what’s happening. And then ZOOM! I’m disconnected from him and am off to another random stranger.
I literally had about a dozen conversations like this, and I was transferred to about 15 or so complete strangers.
This is, hands down, the weirdest tech support experience I’ve ever had. It’s like Rogers Wireless has introduced some kind of TeleTwilight Zone package…. I better not be getting dinged any long distance for this.
